I really like your design of the page. I need to work on mine a little bit more since I’m not so good at technology. You’re so creative by telling the stories in the form of letters that princesses write to each other. You gave out enough of information in the introduction, such as descriptions of the three princesses, how did they meet each other, their forms of communications. By reading your introduction, I kind of have an idea of what will be included in other pages. You made their life relatable to ours, by seeing the words: snapchat, Facebook, etc. I also like how you added the overall theme of your storybook. I agree with the idea you’re trying to convey through these stories. We as individuals come from different places of the world, but we should live peacefully together.
There is one suggestion that I want to make. I don’t really get this sentence “The three finished kindergarten the best of friends”. Maybe you can change the wording a little bit.
Wow, when reading your introduction the first thing I thought of was "wow this is making me think of the sisterhood of the traveling pants". Maybe you might want to make it a little spinoff of that and have some item they pass around to each other with the letters? Just a thought! Either way, this storybook will be so fun to read! If you want, you can also make your introduction more "story like". This may help readers kind of get into the feel of your writing and get excited to keep reading your other stories! This introduction also did a good job of showcasing what the future stories will be about. But again, your choice! Maybe go back and just read it again to make sure it all sounds right. I know sometimes I get lost reading out loud, and never catch some things. I totally understand! I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories. Nice job! I can't wait to see what you do with this!
I look forward to your stories. Your design layout is amazing and makes me feel like my page is kind of bland haha. I'm not too good with technology so mine is no where near as good as yours. I am looking forward to reading the stories about these princesses and see how you write to relate to them and even in a way that the reader could relate to them. Already from the introduction, I feel as most readers already could develop a sense of connection to the princesses. With all the princesses being from different area's, how are you going to have them meet eachother?
To start off, I got a real "Disney princesses" vibe from your introduction. I like that you are making the princesses all friends and I love how you are going to format your storybook. It's refreshing to see that you are not just sticking to a third-person narrative, but rather, you are sharing stories in first-person as letters. This reminds me heavily of archived letters that we have all read in our history classes, but for this case, we will see what I am sure will be interesting stories between the stories.
I had a few questions, that are nothing more that curious. Will your stories be totally grounded. As I have said earlier, your premise seems very "Disney Princesses-y"; have you considered adding in some fantasy elements into it? After coming off of reading these folklores, talking woodland creatures are something that I have tried incorporating into my writings for an easy way to spice things up. Regardless what you do, I am sure that it will be great.
I am really excited for this storybook. I love reading about princesses and it will be really cool to read about ones from around the world. I like how you are planning to make the princesses meet in school and how they will be able to have friends that will face the same situations that they do. I also like how it seems like it will be a modern story, but they still keep in touch via letters. I also kind of get a disney vibe from this and I love it, disney stories are my favorite. I really hope they all stay friends throughout their lives, because it would be awesome if they could be forever friends. I also feel like this would help them as they grow since they would all experience similar things in life. Your layout is also really good. I like how creative and different it is. I think it goes very well with your story theme. I look forward to reading more and seeing how this comes together. Great job!
First of all, as others have mentioned, your site design is lovely! Having a different color for each new idea makes your introduction easier to read, and it looks so pretty. I really like your Storybook idea, and I think you stated it very clearly here so that your reader knows what to expect. I also like that you've stated your purpose and goals for doing this specific Storybook! The backstory for the princesses' friendship is a nice touch. I think you might be able to make the backstory come to life even more if you let the princesses tell it! They could perhaps write a joint statement, talking about how their friendship developed, why they decided to start writing letters, and why they want to share them (maybe for the same reasons you're writing this Storybook - unity and empowerment). I definitely don't think that a fictionalized introduction like that is necessary, because your expository introduction is working very well, but it's just another idea to try! Maybe you could even mix expository and fiction in your intro. I look forward to reading some of your princesses' letters in the future!
The picture at the top of your intro page is actually, in itself, a great intro to the fact that you are having your characters "write" to each other. You may clarify what period of their lives the princesses "went through the usual drama of who's the better princess," because it doesn't make a lot of sense for them to have done that in preschool. I like the page format style of having a different background for each paragraph. If you had some time, it would be neat for you to come up with a creative name for your story instead of "Once Upon a Time". I'm sure there are many title's that could tie in your hopes for a hidden message throughout the storybook that would sound lovely. A title is just another creative outlet. I'm sure you will have a great time creating these letters. Hope you enjoy.
Hey Jessica! First off, I wanted to compliment your page design you set up for your project. It is very well put together and really fits with your overall princess them you are doing for your project. I especially like your heading visuals on both the home and the intro pages. Other than just the design of your site, I think your concept is very creative and should work very well for you. The idea of princesses around the world is a great idea that hasn’t really been touched on, even though it definitely makes sense they would know each other. I really enjoy that you are incorporating the underlying themes of unity and global connectedness into your stories as well to really strengthen the foundation of your project. I am excited to see how you spin the story of the princesses with the help of all the availability social media has to offer. I look forward to seeing the finished product at the end of the semester.
Hi Jessica! I love the overall layout of your page design. It is very easy to navigate. The pictures and colors used seem to fit your idea really well also. I haven't seen anything about princesses so far, and I like the idea of them writing letters to one another. What made you decide on the princess aspect, and how did you decide on the Philippines, India, and Japan? I'm excited to read your upcoming stories and see how they play out with the letters. I think it's interesting that they are using letters rather than social media to communicate with each other, because now that is almost unheard of. The central idea for your stories is great with the women not needing a male hero. Most princess stories, like you said, lack a woman heroine. Good luck with the rest of your stories, I can't wait to see the finished site towards the end of the semester!
Your storybook concept is so cool! I love the overall look of the site. The introduction page especially has such a cool design to it. I like how each paragraph has a different background. I love that you plan to emphasize unity and tell stories about self-rescuing princesses instead of the usual sexist tellings that most fairy tales tend to go with. I also think it’s great that you picked lesser known princesses, that will be really interesting to read about. I also like the concept of them writing letters to one another instead of just writing stories. It makes the whole thing feel very connected. The only thing that may be missing is a little more background on why these princesses ended up in preschool and kindergarten together in the United States. Keep up the good work, I’m looking forward to reading more from you this semester!
Hi Jessica! First of all, I really like the look of your Storybook site. The look complement the overall theme of your story really well! Like a diary almost (The Princess Diaries suddenly pops up in my mind). It is great that you want to show a great message in your story of unity and girl powers. Your story makes me curious what kind of letters the princess are going to write to each other. Will it introduce the readers to the cultures of the different countries each princess are from? Will there be some kind of a big twist or villain that will bring the princesses together to fight him or her? It is very creative that you think of such idea. Since the readers are reading the letter, I feel that everyone will somewhat feel and understand the characters more. I wonder if you will go back and revise or rewrite the introduction a bit more? Since it is an introduction, I sorta expect a little sneak and peek of the storyline (not necessary spoilers, but like a little summary). Nevertheless, I am looking forward to read the rest of your story! Good luck.
Hey Jessica, Just leaving a comment here regarding your Storybook site. I think it looks great so far! I think the banner with "Once Upon a Time" in the background really sets the tone you are looking for, with incorporating ideas of princesses and fairytales into the modern world. Also, from a practical perspective, the separation of paragraphs with different backgrounds looks really clean. It's easy to read and attractive, which might not seem like a big deal but actually makes a huge difference to your readers! Content-wise, I think you have a great basis because of the themes that you are wanting to get across in your stories. The underlying ideas of acknowledging differences and establishing unity are not only timeless and universally important, they are absolutely necessary in today's society! You have great content so far, and I also think you could add a little more in the introduction that would draw readers in! I think it would be great to include a little bit more of an intro to each specific princess - perhaps an autobiographical blurb from their diaries, or an introduction in one of their letters. If each princess could introduce herself in some creative manner, I think the introduction would hold a lot more appeal! (Perhaps you are planning on doing this with future letters from the princesses, in which case, you wouldn't need to include this information in the introduction!) Great job!
Hey Jessica, I'm going to start by saying that I really like the layout of your storybook! The color scheme is exciting and vibrant. The idea of the princesses writing letters to one another is different for sure, not many people would think to write a story from that point of view. A couple questions though, what is it that the stories will consist of? Are the princesses telling stories about an adventure that they went through or is it personal? The introduction is vague, which is not necessarily a bad thing because it makes me want to read the stories to find out, but some might be turned away from this. Another thing that I do like is how you added into your intro the purpose of your storybook. I think that it is important to portray women as strong individuals that shouldn't have to have a male figure in their life to be happy. Independence is an important aspect of life and because of that your storybook will relate to real-life situations and so many people will be able to connect with your stories. I look forward to finding out how the princesses are going to write their letters!
Hey Jessica, I love princess stories so I have a feeling I'll really enjoy reading your stories! I like that you are pulling from different traditions than what we are used to in the West and what we associate with Princess tales i.e. not French fairy tales, but Japan etc. Although maybe Western Sleeping Beauty gets a shout out because she used to be the school bully? I love when new characters reference stories I am familiar with since it makes stories that are new to us feel like we've always known them. Something that might improve your introduction would be to make it like a story. Either tell a story from the perspective of the princesses, or the as the narrator. Maybe start from when they made the bracelets and they promise to write, which would set up the letters. Maybe the narrator found the box of letters and wants to share them with the world because she believes that these are important letters, showing how we can find unity around the world.
Jessica, I thought that writing Aiko's story as a letter was a really unique way of going about getting to know her and letting her speak her thoughts. I also liked the Author's Note because it gave a good summary of the events leading up to your letter. The tone that you set for Aiko was appropriate for a young girl/woman. I would suggest breaking the letter up into smaller paragraphs, though, as reading one large paragraph can be an energy draining experience for the reader. Also, while the tone was appropriate for a young woman, I think that it would be a good idea to bring it back a little bit. After all, Aiko is a respectable princess. She has probably been raised to act very graceful in all situations. I really liked the aspect of making Aiko the one who saves herself, and she is not just waiting around for someone to find her. This was a woman-empowering addition to the original story, and I think that this type of encouragement for women is increasingly relevant to our day. Good job with this story.
First off, your website looks super cute! I love the look of it and really feel like the pictures you used set the tone for the storybook! I am also using Google sites and have so far really liked it as I am sure you have as well! Who would have thought that you could write your storybook about writing letters? That is really creative! I really do wonder how you even came up with that! I really like it because it gave me a really nice gateway into the thoughts and feelings of Aiko. I am also writing a story right now where I need to thoroughly describe the thoughts of characters in first person and I know it isn't easy to do! But I feel like you did a really good job putting yourself in her shoes! And also really good job with the message of the story! Girl power! I know there is a lot of controversy over that subject right now and I just would like to say props to you for implementing something that is so important in today's society right now into your storybook. Stories pertaining to the time period's societal problems and movements are often the greatest written! Keep it up!
Great job with the story! I remembering commenting on your introduction, so I was really looking forward to your stories and in what style you were going to convey it. I am glad to see that instead of going the "Disney Princess" route, you made your writing more modern. Aiko's letter is not that of a "proper" letter, but that of simply one pen-pal writing to another.
I also really liked the original story that you chose to base yours off of. It goes to show that the theme of a wicked step-mother is ever-present throughout multiple cultures. One critique that I can give to you is that I felt that the story felt unfinished. Do not get me wrong, in the end we saw that Aiko developed as a character being able to travel down a mountain all by herself and her father seeing his mistake. However, what happens to the stepmother? I have never read The Story of Princess Hase, so I do not know what happens to her stepmother. I believe that you could have touched on this subject, maybe show that the stepmother was exiled or something along that line. Overall though, you did an amazing job! I look forward to see how the other princesses react to this assignation attempt.
Your final project idea for myth is so interesting. I like how you combined the princess' stories from Japan, India, and the Philippines. These cultures are cultures that we have little experience within an America. Like I said a bit earlier, this makes your stories interesting. Props to you on identifying issues that people would bring up in your intro and confront it. Your introduction did a good job on setting everything up without putting too much detail in. Princess Aiko’s letter was definitely interesting to read. The first question that came to mind when I was reading her letter was why is her step mom trying to kill her. I wish there was a little more backstory in the letter that would answer this question for the reader. Your layout is so pretty throughout the website. Your background choices put the eye down through your story. Good job.
I loved your story! I think it is such a creative way to tell these stories and to bring them all together. I read the story about Princess Hase too, and I really liked it, but I love the changes you made and how you wrote her as more independent. I would like to hear more specifics about how the empress was banished, so maybe you could add that to the story itself, or maybe add a little more detail to the PS. As for your introduction, I think you did a good job with setting up your stories and what the overall message of your storybook was going to be. If you are looking for more information to put in the introduction, it could be interesting to say why you chose these three princess in particular, just to give the readers a little more insight. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
Jessica, I love how your storybook is all about princesses being badass instead of always having to be saved!! I think that is awesome, and oh so appropriate for this time we are at in our lives! I also thought the idea of the princesses all being pen pals with eachother is really cute, and I also like the theme of different cultures coming together! As for your theme and layout, I think you did a really good job! Your pictures fit the stories perfectly and it definitely has a princess-y vibe to it! I think each of your stories are very well written. I liked the changes you made and how you changed the names of the girls but still kept them culturally appropriate! Overall I think you are an excellent writer and I seriously cannot wait to see what your last story is going to be. I am definitely interested to know why you picked these three princesses in particular too!
Hi Jessica! Your decision to make your storybook in the form of letters if very unique. The introduction you provided told us just enough background information about these three princesses without spilling everything. I also like the writing style you're using in each letter because it further emphasizes that girls are writing these letters. The little "lols" and smiling/winking faces make the letters that much more unique. One thing I could suggest for you is maybe have one of the girls reminisce on their times together. Maybe as they're writing their letter, something triggers a happy/sad/angry memory that they all shared together in the USA. This would add more background to each of the princesses. Like how in the beginning of preschool they all fought over who was the best princess of their land. Maybe that could be something that could be mentioned again in the letter. It could be started of like "remember when....." Overall, the content in the letters are already outstanding.
Hi Jessica! I think this is one of my favorite storybooks! I’m so glad I got to check it out. I think you are very talented. My favorite part about the first story was the interaction between your main character and her dad! I could imagine the emotions of how she must have felt after what he said to her…it’s always a good feeling when you know your parents are proud of you. My favorite part about the second story was the concept of cooperation! I love you incorporated that into your story. I did wonder about her friends. What if you included a letter from them into your storybook? Other than that, I thought this was wonderful to read! I think you have a real talent for blogging and writing. I also really enjoyed the layout of your page. It had a calm, relaxed vibe to it. Great work!
The topic that you've chosen for your Storybook is awesome! I'm a hopeless romantic, and princess stories are some of my favorite pieces of literature to read! I was really looking forward to reading your Storybook. Here are my comments: - The introduction was good, but I think that if you made it in one of the princesses' voices, it would connect the reader to the story so that they know what they are getting into. Making it a letter to the reader, like the rest of your Storybook, would help with the flow from the introduction to the first story. - Your take on Princess Hase is nice! I read the story myself for one of our weekly assignments and you adapted the tale really well. I think that the seriousness of the story was overlooked with the voice of Princess Aiko, however. But it's your take on the character, so you do you, girl!
Hi Jessica! Wow, I have thoroughly enjoyed both of the stories you have written here. I visited way back when you only had your introduction up, and it looks like you have made tremendous amounts of progress. What I like, just looking at both of your stories, is the fact that you have images in the background of your text. And then, there are text boxes that have different images! That is SO cool! How did you do that? I also really like the way you have styled your stories as they were easy to read, fun to read, and really well put together. Something that was really unique about your storybook is that in the author's note, you give us a link to your comments. Which is such a great idea. I think it's nice that you have made everything so accessible on your storybook, and I am looking forward to seeing what new stories are added. Nice job!
Hi Jessica! I really think your idea to explore the perspective of various princesses in your first story is super creative. The background facts that you gave in the authors notes and introduction really helps the reader get an idea of what kind of characters your princesses are and what kind of personality and roles they have. Your choice to write your stories as letters is also really effective - it really allows you to delve into Aiko and Camille's character well. One thing I would recommend is perhaps adding more pictures to help the reader visualize the nature of the princesses better. Great job on your introduction and first story so far, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Wow your project is so fun. Writing stories from princesses' points of views are always fun, and leave room for so much creativity. I'm not in mythology and folklore, but I felt like I had a pretty great understanding of the stories without needed to go back and read them. You're website is easy to navigate, and I love the way you change the backgrounds of the text-boxes depending on what princess the letters point of view is from.
The writing style you have chosen of friends writing letters back to one another is very easy to follow, and also very entertaining. Is there a specific reason you chose for them to write hand written letters to one another? Is this pre texting times, or are they just pen pals because it's the cool thing to do these days? The dialogue between the character's reminds me a lot of the dialogue I use with my friends today through text messaging so that's what sparked that question.
When reading Aiko's letter the only thing you may want to go into a little more detail with is why the stepmom wants to have her killed. You did a great job of explaining the background in the author's note, but it may help answer the question to the reader before they get to the end if you added something at the beginning about how things have escalated to that point.
This is the second story I’ve read in your story book and I really liked them both so much! Again, I think this concept is just so creative and that there is so much you can do with it! I like that you put the decision more into her hands, instead of her fathers. Maybe you could put it a little more about what happened to them after he was chosen. Maybe just a little more information about them getting to know each other. Or even the scene where she picks him even though he didn’t win the race. Like maybe how the other men reacted. I don’t necessarily think you need to add anything, but those are just a few ideas if you are looking to add something. Overall, I really loved this story and I’m excited to read your third and/or fourth story in this series!
Hi Jessica! This was such an original idea for a Storybook and I love how you are changing these stories to be more about the girls rescuing themselves! Your theme of unity around the world is great and you are definitely achieving that. I like how modern the conversations are in the letters. I wasn't expecting it but it was such a nice surprise and makes he stories so fun and easy to read. I loved how nonchalant Aiko was about almost being killed! She was just like "Ehhh it happens! Now I'm gonna go tell my dad." I liked Camille's story about Cochinango and I hope we get to hear more about him and Camille. Great job and I can't wait to read more!
Hi Jessica! I read your story titled "Camille's Letter." I really like how you made the image be the background of your story. Since it is short in length, you really get to focus on that image throughout the duration of the story which is neat! I also really like that you wrote your storybook in the form of letters. I feel like it gives you the opportunity to truly dive into each characters' personality and expose that to your reader. I also love how you mixed in modern lingo even though this was written in a letter format. It makes your story come to life as I can hear the girl writing the letter in my head. I also love the deeper meanings that you incorporated in the competition. This shows the character or your narrator and her values that was really cool! Keep up the good work! I hope to read more of your stories in the future.
Hey Jessica! What an awesome project you have so far, it's really such a cute idea! Your home page really grabs the attention of the reader right off the bat, especially with the fun colors in the picture. Then, your introduction does a great job of explaining some background information for your storybook, and describes just how you are going to incorporate your own flare into these stories. The communication via letters is such a creative way to tie all of these princesses together. Your first story was awesome and I liked how you gave the princess her own voice and be independent. I also liked the brief commentary within the letters because it added great texture to the storyline. I think overall, the layout is really visually appealing and very organized. If there were one suggestion I could make, it would be to add a few more pictures. They just do a great job of aiding the reader in seeing exactly what you are trying to write. Anyways, thanks for sharing and keep up the great work!
Hi Jessica! I love that both your comment wall and project are fully of such vibrant colors! I really catches your reader's attention and brightens up their mood! Also, I love that your project is all through letters. I do not think I have seen another project that delivers their stories in this way. It really helps us get to know your reader and picture how the recipient may be taking the information until we read on to your next story. Last time I visited your project, I read Camille's Letter, so this time I went back to read the letter from Aiko. You did a wonderful job of bringing a story together through these letters! I love how you started out by allowing us to see those emotions that Aiko is feeling due to the circumstances he is in. If I were to write a letter-formate story, I would for sure forget to include those deeper thoughts that are crutial to setting the mood. Keep up the great work!
Hi Jessica! Your page is awesome. I love the background pictures that you've included to illustrate your stories. They're lovely and do an excellent job of encapsulating the theme of each letter. I like the idea of telling each of these girl's stories through letters to her friends. It allows for insight into the girls thoughts and feelings. I read both stories and they were each really good, and very different from each other. It was nicely eclectic. My favorite part is that you're making the princesses have a sense of independence and they both seem kind, rather than the traditional, spoiled little princess that needs someone to come save her. So far you you only have the letters back and forth from two people, but in each they refer to 'girls'. Is there going to be another princess thrown into the mix?
Hi Jessica! Your project design - and the design of this comment wall - are so fun! I really enjoyed reading your project! I really loved the idea of doing Princess stories, I'm all about the girl power, so I love that you retold the for your project. I think presenting the stories in the form of letters added a really fun personal touch, we very seldom in myths get to hear directly how the characters feel about things so I think this really added depth to the story and made us as readers feel more involved in what happened to the characters! It could be a cool idea to include more pictures to really set the scene but overall I feel like your project is really great! Keep up the great work!
Hey there Jessica! I just read your introduction and it was a refreshing change! A lot of intros (mine included) jump straight into the project. I appreciate that yours took a second to explain what was going on and how it was happening. I'm excited to keep reading. So far so good! I like that Aiko took control of her story and founder her own way home. It would have been cool if she had also had to take care of her step-mother, but I understand why you didn't do that. I was a little confused because she says "girls" in her letter, but I thought it was just to Camille. Camille's letter is my favorite (but I might be biased - I wanted to rewrite the story of Cochinango too). I like that you made her care more about his personality instead of his class. It made Camille feel like more of a real person to me. I hope there's going to be another princess thrown into the mix! I'd love another princess to take charge!
Hey Jessica! Your Storybook is super cute in its setup; I love the format of written letters, especially when you get to read them from multiple points of view! I think it fit well with what your stories entailed and the style you used for the letters themselves. I can clearly see the inspiration you got from the originals, so great job on conveying the original messages! I love how you changed up the second story to match your character and the tone of your storybook. I'm a big fan of feminist-leaning literature, so I was really happy that you gave your character some added independence (in both stories) but even more so in the second one. I like that you gave her a choice and also had her actually LIKE the man she chose! It was super fun to read and very interesting to learn how the original went.
Hello again Jessica! I am so glad I found your storybook again. I love the two stories you have added. I think it's interesting how you have made these stories your own. The voice you have given to the characters not only establish their character traits for the reader, but also makes the story itself different. For example, I also read the story of Princess Hasse. While I was reminded of it, and by the end knew it was the same story, sometimes I wondered if you had based it on a different similar story, because it was so different, in a great way! I hadn't read Camille's story before this, but you did a great job of retelling it so that I wasn't confused and could easily enjoy without having read the source material. I hope you post more stories that I can come back and read! Great job!
Hi, Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI really like your design of the page. I need to work on mine a little bit more since I’m not so good at technology. You’re so creative by telling the stories in the form of letters that princesses write to each other. You gave out enough of information in the introduction, such as descriptions of the three princesses, how did they meet each other, their forms of communications. By reading your introduction, I kind of have an idea of what will be included in other pages. You made their life relatable to ours, by seeing the words: snapchat, Facebook, etc. I also like how you added the overall theme of your storybook. I agree with the idea you’re trying to convey through these stories. We as individuals come from different places of the world, but we should live peacefully together.
There is one suggestion that I want to make. I don’t really get this sentence “The three finished kindergarten the best of friends”. Maybe you can change the wording a little bit.
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteWow, when reading your introduction the first thing I thought of was "wow this is making me think of the sisterhood of the traveling pants". Maybe you might want to make it a little spinoff of that and have some item they pass around to each other with the letters? Just a thought! Either way, this storybook will be so fun to read! If you want, you can also make your introduction more "story like". This may help readers kind of get into the feel of your writing and get excited to keep reading your other stories! This introduction also did a good job of showcasing what the future stories will be about. But again, your choice! Maybe go back and just read it again to make sure it all sounds right. I know sometimes I get lost reading out loud, and never catch some things. I totally understand! I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories. Nice job! I can't wait to see what you do with this!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI look forward to your stories. Your design layout is amazing and makes me feel like my page is kind of bland haha. I'm not too good with technology so mine is no where near as good as yours. I am looking forward to reading the stories about these princesses and see how you write to relate to them and even in a way that the reader could relate to them. Already from the introduction, I feel as most readers already could develop a sense of connection to the princesses. With all the princesses being from different area's, how are you going to have them meet eachother?
Hi Jessica,
ReplyDeleteTo start off, I got a real "Disney princesses" vibe from your introduction. I like that you are making the princesses all friends and I love how you are going to format your storybook. It's refreshing to see that you are not just sticking to a third-person narrative, but rather, you are sharing stories in first-person as letters. This reminds me heavily of archived letters that we have all read in our history classes, but for this case, we will see what I am sure will be interesting stories between the stories.
I had a few questions, that are nothing more that curious. Will your stories be totally grounded. As I have said earlier, your premise seems very "Disney Princesses-y"; have you considered adding in some fantasy elements into it? After coming off of reading these folklores, talking woodland creatures are something that I have tried incorporating into my writings for an easy way to spice things up. Regardless what you do, I am sure that it will be great.
Good luck!
Hi Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI am really excited for this storybook. I love reading about princesses and it will be really cool to read about ones from around the world. I like how you are planning to make the princesses meet in school and how they will be able to have friends that will face the same situations that they do. I also like how it seems like it will be a modern story, but they still keep in touch via letters. I also kind of get a disney vibe from this and I love it, disney stories are my favorite. I really hope they all stay friends throughout their lives, because it would be awesome if they could be forever friends. I also feel like this would help them as they grow since they would all experience similar things in life. Your layout is also really good. I like how creative and different it is. I think it goes very well with your story theme. I look forward to reading more and seeing how this comes together. Great job!
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, as others have mentioned, your site design is lovely! Having a different color for each new idea makes your introduction easier to read, and it looks so pretty. I really like your Storybook idea, and I think you stated it very clearly here so that your reader knows what to expect. I also like that you've stated your purpose and goals for doing this specific Storybook! The backstory for the princesses' friendship is a nice touch. I think you might be able to make the backstory come to life even more if you let the princesses tell it! They could perhaps write a joint statement, talking about how their friendship developed, why they decided to start writing letters, and why they want to share them (maybe for the same reasons you're writing this Storybook - unity and empowerment). I definitely don't think that a fictionalized introduction like that is necessary, because your expository introduction is working very well, but it's just another idea to try! Maybe you could even mix expository and fiction in your intro. I look forward to reading some of your princesses' letters in the future!
The picture at the top of your intro page is actually, in itself, a great intro to the fact that you are having your characters "write" to each other. You may clarify what period of their lives the princesses "went through the usual drama of who's the better princess," because it doesn't make a lot of sense for them to have done that in preschool. I like the page format style of having a different background for each paragraph. If you had some time, it would be neat for you to come up with a creative name for your story instead of "Once Upon a Time". I'm sure there are many title's that could tie in your hopes for a hidden message throughout the storybook that would sound lovely. A title is just another creative outlet. I'm sure you will have a great time creating these letters. Hope you enjoy.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica! First off, I wanted to compliment your page design you set up for your project. It is very well put together and really fits with your overall princess them you are doing for your project. I especially like your heading visuals on both the home and the intro pages. Other than just the design of your site, I think your concept is very creative and should work very well for you. The idea of princesses around the world is a great idea that hasn’t really been touched on, even though it definitely makes sense they would know each other. I really enjoy that you are incorporating the underlying themes of unity and global connectedness into your stories as well to really strengthen the foundation of your project. I am excited to see how you spin the story of the princesses with the help of all the availability social media has to offer. I look forward to seeing the finished product at the end of the semester.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI love the overall layout of your page design. It is very easy to navigate. The pictures and colors used seem to fit your idea really well also. I haven't seen anything about princesses so far, and I like the idea of them writing letters to one another. What made you decide on the princess aspect, and how did you decide on the Philippines, India, and Japan? I'm excited to read your upcoming stories and see how they play out with the letters. I think it's interesting that they are using letters rather than social media to communicate with each other, because now that is almost unheard of. The central idea for your stories is great with the women not needing a male hero. Most princess stories, like you said, lack a woman heroine. Good luck with the rest of your stories, I can't wait to see the finished site towards the end of the semester!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook concept is so cool! I love the overall look of the site. The introduction page especially has such a cool design to it. I like how each paragraph has a different background. I love that you plan to emphasize unity and tell stories about self-rescuing princesses instead of the usual sexist tellings that most fairy tales tend to go with. I also think it’s great that you picked lesser known princesses, that will be really interesting to read about. I also like the concept of them writing letters to one another instead of just writing stories. It makes the whole thing feel very connected. The only thing that may be missing is a little more background on why these princesses ended up in preschool and kindergarten together in the United States. Keep up the good work, I’m looking forward to reading more from you this semester!
Hi Jessica! First of all, I really like the look of your Storybook site. The look complement the overall theme of your story really well! Like a diary almost (The Princess Diaries suddenly pops up in my mind). It is great that you want to show a great message in your story of unity and girl powers. Your story makes me curious what kind of letters the princess are going to write to each other. Will it introduce the readers to the cultures of the different countries each princess are from? Will there be some kind of a big twist or villain that will bring the princesses together to fight him or her? It is very creative that you think of such idea. Since the readers are reading the letter, I feel that everyone will somewhat feel and understand the characters more. I wonder if you will go back and revise or rewrite the introduction a bit more? Since it is an introduction, I sorta expect a little sneak and peek of the storyline (not necessary spoilers, but like a little summary). Nevertheless, I am looking forward to read the rest of your story! Good luck.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteJust leaving a comment here regarding your Storybook site. I think it looks great so far! I think the banner with "Once Upon a Time" in the background really sets the tone you are looking for, with incorporating ideas of princesses and fairytales into the modern world. Also, from a practical perspective, the separation of paragraphs with different backgrounds looks really clean. It's easy to read and attractive, which might not seem like a big deal but actually makes a huge difference to your readers!
Content-wise, I think you have a great basis because of the themes that you are wanting to get across in your stories. The underlying ideas of acknowledging differences and establishing unity are not only timeless and universally important, they are absolutely necessary in today's society!
You have great content so far, and I also think you could add a little more in the introduction that would draw readers in! I think it would be great to include a little bit more of an intro to each specific princess - perhaps an autobiographical blurb from their diaries, or an introduction in one of their letters. If each princess could introduce herself in some creative manner, I think the introduction would hold a lot more appeal! (Perhaps you are planning on doing this with future letters from the princesses, in which case, you wouldn't need to include this information in the introduction!) Great job!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI'm going to start by saying that I really like the layout of your storybook! The color scheme is exciting and vibrant. The idea of the princesses writing letters to one another is different for sure, not many people would think to write a story from that point of view. A couple questions though, what is it that the stories will consist of? Are the princesses telling stories about an adventure that they went through or is it personal? The introduction is vague, which is not necessarily a bad thing because it makes me want to read the stories to find out, but some might be turned away from this.
Another thing that I do like is how you added into your intro the purpose of your storybook. I think that it is important to portray women as strong individuals that shouldn't have to have a male figure in their life to be happy. Independence is an important aspect of life and because of that your storybook will relate to real-life situations and so many people will be able to connect with your stories. I look forward to finding out how the princesses are going to write their letters!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI love princess stories so I have a feeling I'll really enjoy reading your stories! I like that you are pulling from different traditions than what we are used to in the West and what we associate with Princess tales i.e. not French fairy tales, but Japan etc. Although maybe Western Sleeping Beauty gets a shout out because she used to be the school bully? I love when new characters reference stories I am familiar with since it makes stories that are new to us feel like we've always known them.
Something that might improve your introduction would be to make it like a story. Either tell a story from the perspective of the princesses, or the as the narrator. Maybe start from when they made the bracelets and they promise to write, which would set up the letters. Maybe the narrator found the box of letters and wants to share them with the world because she believes that these are important letters, showing how we can find unity around the world.
Jessica, I thought that writing Aiko's story as a letter was a really unique way of going about getting to know her and letting her speak her thoughts. I also liked the Author's Note because it gave a good summary of the events leading up to your letter. The tone that you set for Aiko was appropriate for a young girl/woman. I would suggest breaking the letter up into smaller paragraphs, though, as reading one large paragraph can be an energy draining experience for the reader. Also, while the tone was appropriate for a young woman, I think that it would be a good idea to bring it back a little bit. After all, Aiko is a respectable princess. She has probably been raised to act very graceful in all situations. I really liked the aspect of making Aiko the one who saves herself, and she is not just waiting around for someone to find her. This was a woman-empowering addition to the original story, and I think that this type of encouragement for women is increasingly relevant to our day. Good job with this story.
ReplyDeleteHello there Jessica!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, your website looks super cute! I love the look of it and really feel like the pictures you used set the tone for the storybook! I am also using Google sites and have so far really liked it as I am sure you have as well!
Who would have thought that you could write your storybook about writing letters? That is really creative! I really do wonder how you even came up with that! I really like it because it gave me a really nice gateway into the thoughts and feelings of Aiko. I am also writing a story right now where I need to thoroughly describe the thoughts of characters in first person and I know it isn't easy to do! But I feel like you did a really good job putting yourself in her shoes!
And also really good job with the message of the story! Girl power! I know there is a lot of controversy over that subject right now and I just would like to say props to you for implementing something that is so important in today's society right now into your storybook. Stories pertaining to the time period's societal problems and movements are often the greatest written!
Keep it up!
Hey Jessica,
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the story! I remembering commenting on your introduction, so I was really looking forward to your stories and in what style you were going to convey it. I am glad to see that instead of going the "Disney Princess" route, you made your writing more modern. Aiko's letter is not that of a "proper" letter, but that of simply one pen-pal writing to another.
I also really liked the original story that you chose to base yours off of. It goes to show that the theme of a wicked step-mother is ever-present throughout multiple cultures. One critique that I can give to you is that I felt that the story felt unfinished. Do not get me wrong, in the end we saw that Aiko developed as a character being able to travel down a mountain all by herself and her father seeing his mistake. However, what happens to the stepmother? I have never read The Story of Princess Hase, so I do not know what happens to her stepmother. I believe that you could have touched on this subject, maybe show that the stepmother was exiled or something along that line.
Overall though, you did an amazing job! I look forward to see how the other princesses react to this assignation attempt.
Hi Jessica.
ReplyDeleteYour final project idea for myth is so interesting. I like how you combined the princess' stories from Japan, India, and the Philippines. These cultures are cultures that we have little experience within an America. Like I said a bit earlier, this makes your stories interesting. Props to you on identifying issues that people would bring up in your intro and confront it. Your introduction did a good job on setting everything up without putting too much detail in. Princess Aiko’s letter was definitely interesting to read. The first question that came to mind when I was reading her letter was why is her step mom trying to kill her. I wish there was a little more backstory in the letter that would answer this question for the reader. Your layout is so pretty throughout the website. Your background choices put the eye down through your story. Good job.
Jessica
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! I think it is such a creative way to tell these stories and to bring them all together. I read the story about Princess Hase too, and I really liked it, but I love the changes you made and how you wrote her as more independent. I would like to hear more specifics about how the empress was banished, so maybe you could add that to the story itself, or maybe add a little more detail to the PS. As for your introduction, I think you did a good job with setting up your stories and what the overall message of your storybook was going to be. If you are looking for more information to put in the introduction, it could be interesting to say why you chose these three princess in particular, just to give the readers a little more insight. I look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI love how your storybook is all about princesses being badass instead of always having to be saved!! I think that is awesome, and oh so appropriate for this time we are at in our lives! I also thought the idea of the princesses all being pen pals with eachother is really cute, and I also like the theme of different cultures coming together! As for your theme and layout, I think you did a really good job! Your pictures fit the stories perfectly and it definitely has a princess-y vibe to it! I think each of your stories are very well written. I liked the changes you made and how you changed the names of the girls but still kept them culturally appropriate! Overall I think you are an excellent writer and I seriously cannot wait to see what your last story is going to be. I am definitely interested to know why you picked these three princesses in particular too!
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteYour decision to make your storybook in the form of letters if very unique. The introduction you provided told us just enough background information about these three princesses without spilling everything. I also like the writing style you're using in each letter because it further emphasizes that girls are writing these letters. The little "lols" and smiling/winking faces make the letters that much more unique. One thing I could suggest for you is maybe have one of the girls reminisce on their times together. Maybe as they're writing their letter, something triggers a happy/sad/angry memory that they all shared together in the USA. This would add more background to each of the princesses. Like how in the beginning of preschool they all fought over who was the best princess of their land. Maybe that could be something that could be mentioned again in the letter. It could be started of like "remember when....." Overall, the content in the letters are already outstanding.
Hi Jessica! I think this is one of my favorite storybooks! I’m so glad I got to check it out. I think you are very talented. My favorite part about the first story was the interaction between your main character and her dad! I could imagine the emotions of how she must have felt after what he said to her…it’s always a good feeling when you know your parents are proud of you. My favorite part about the second story was the concept of cooperation! I love you incorporated that into your story. I did wonder about her friends. What if you included a letter from them into your storybook? Other than that, I thought this was wonderful to read! I think you have a real talent for blogging and writing. I also really enjoyed the layout of your page. It had a calm, relaxed vibe to it. Great work!
ReplyDeleteJessica,
ReplyDeleteThe topic that you've chosen for your Storybook is awesome! I'm a hopeless romantic, and princess stories are some of my favorite pieces of literature to read! I was really looking forward to reading your Storybook. Here are my comments:
- The introduction was good, but I think that if you made it in one of the princesses' voices, it would connect the reader to the story so that they know what they are getting into. Making it a letter to the reader, like the rest of your Storybook, would help with the flow from the introduction to the first story.
- Your take on Princess Hase is nice! I read the story myself for one of our weekly assignments and you adapted the tale really well. I think that the seriousness of the story was overlooked with the voice of Princess Aiko, however. But it's your take on the character, so you do you, girl!
Other than that, great job!
Cassidy
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteWow, I have thoroughly enjoyed both of the stories you have written here. I visited way back when you only had your introduction up, and it looks like you have made tremendous amounts of progress. What I like, just looking at both of your stories, is the fact that you have images in the background of your text. And then, there are text boxes that have different images! That is SO cool! How did you do that? I also really like the way you have styled your stories as they were easy to read, fun to read, and really well put together. Something that was really unique about your storybook is that in the author's note, you give us a link to your comments. Which is such a great idea. I think it's nice that you have made everything so accessible on your storybook, and I am looking forward to seeing what new stories are added. Nice job!
Hi Jessica! I really think your idea to explore the perspective of various princesses in your first story is super creative. The background facts that you gave in the authors notes and introduction really helps the reader get an idea of what kind of characters your princesses are and what kind of personality and roles they have. Your choice to write your stories as letters is also really effective - it really allows you to delve into Aiko and Camille's character well. One thing I would recommend is perhaps adding more pictures to help the reader visualize the nature of the princesses better. Great job on your introduction and first story so far, and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteWow your project is so fun. Writing stories from princesses' points of views are always fun, and leave room for so much creativity. I'm not in mythology and folklore, but I felt like I had a pretty great understanding of the stories without needed to go back and read them. You're website is easy to navigate, and I love the way you change the backgrounds of the text-boxes depending on what princess the letters point of view is from.
The writing style you have chosen of friends writing letters back to one another is very easy to follow, and also very entertaining. Is there a specific reason you chose for them to write hand written letters to one another? Is this pre texting times, or are they just pen pals because it's the cool thing to do these days? The dialogue between the character's reminds me a lot of the dialogue I use with my friends today through text messaging so that's what sparked that question.
When reading Aiko's letter the only thing you may want to go into a little more detail with is why the stepmom wants to have her killed. You did a great job of explaining the background in the author's note, but it may help answer the question to the reader before they get to the end if you added something at the beginning about how things have escalated to that point.
Great job!
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteThis is the second story I’ve read in your story book and I really liked them both so much! Again, I think this concept is just so creative and that there is so much you can do with it! I like that you put the decision more into her hands, instead of her fathers. Maybe you could put it a little more about what happened to them after he was chosen. Maybe just a little more information about them getting to know each other. Or even the scene where she picks him even though he didn’t win the race. Like maybe how the other men reacted. I don’t necessarily think you need to add anything, but those are just a few ideas if you are looking to add something. Overall, I really loved this story and I’m excited to read your third and/or fourth story in this series!
Hi Jessica! This was such an original idea for a Storybook and I love how you are changing these stories to be more about the girls rescuing themselves! Your theme of unity around the world is great and you are definitely achieving that. I like how modern the conversations are in the letters. I wasn't expecting it but it was such a nice surprise and makes he stories so fun and easy to read. I loved how nonchalant Aiko was about almost being killed! She was just like "Ehhh it happens! Now I'm gonna go tell my dad." I liked Camille's story about Cochinango and I hope we get to hear more about him and Camille. Great job and I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! I read your story titled "Camille's Letter." I really like how you made the image be the background of your story. Since it is short in length, you really get to focus on that image throughout the duration of the story which is neat! I also really like that you wrote your storybook in the form of letters. I feel like it gives you the opportunity to truly dive into each characters' personality and expose that to your reader.
ReplyDeleteI also love how you mixed in modern lingo even though this was written in a letter format. It makes your story come to life as I can hear the girl writing the letter in my head. I also love the deeper meanings that you incorporated in the competition. This shows the character or your narrator and her values that was really cool! Keep up the good work! I hope to read more of your stories in the future.
ReplyDeleteHey Jessica! What an awesome project you have so far, it's really such a cute idea! Your home page really grabs the attention of the reader right off the bat, especially with the fun colors in the picture. Then, your introduction does a great job of explaining some background information for your storybook, and describes just how you are going to incorporate your own flare into these stories. The communication via letters is such a creative way to tie all of these princesses together. Your first story was awesome and I liked how you gave the princess her own voice and be independent. I also liked the brief commentary within the letters because it added great texture to the storyline. I think overall, the layout is really visually appealing and very organized. If there were one suggestion I could make, it would be to add a few more pictures. They just do a great job of aiding the reader in seeing exactly what you are trying to write. Anyways, thanks for sharing and keep up the great work!
Hi Jessica! I love that both your comment wall and project are fully of such vibrant colors! I really catches your reader's attention and brightens up their mood! Also, I love that your project is all through letters. I do not think I have seen another project that delivers their stories in this way. It really helps us get to know your reader and picture how the recipient may be taking the information until we read on to your next story.
ReplyDeleteLast time I visited your project, I read Camille's Letter, so this time I went back to read the letter from Aiko. You did a wonderful job of bringing a story together through these letters! I love how you started out by allowing us to see those emotions that Aiko is feeling due to the circumstances he is in. If I were to write a letter-formate story, I would for sure forget to include those deeper thoughts that are crutial to setting the mood. Keep up the great work!
Hi Jessica!
ReplyDeleteYour page is awesome. I love the background pictures that you've included to illustrate your stories. They're lovely and do an excellent job of encapsulating the theme of each letter. I like the idea of telling each of these girl's stories through letters to her friends. It allows for insight into the girls thoughts and feelings. I read both stories and they were each really good, and very different from each other. It was nicely eclectic. My favorite part is that you're making the princesses have a sense of independence and they both seem kind, rather than the traditional, spoiled little princess that needs someone to come save her. So far you you only have the letters back and forth from two people, but in each they refer to 'girls'. Is there going to be another princess thrown into the mix?
Hi Jessica! Your project design - and the design of this comment wall - are so fun! I really enjoyed reading your project! I really loved the idea of doing Princess stories, I'm all about the girl power, so I love that you retold the for your project. I think presenting the stories in the form of letters added a really fun personal touch, we very seldom in myths get to hear directly how the characters feel about things so I think this really added depth to the story and made us as readers feel more involved in what happened to the characters! It could be a cool idea to include more pictures to really set the scene but overall I feel like your project is really great! Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteHey there Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI just read your introduction and it was a refreshing change! A lot of intros (mine included) jump straight into the project. I appreciate that yours took a second to explain what was going on and how it was happening. I'm excited to keep reading.
So far so good! I like that Aiko took control of her story and founder her own way home. It would have been cool if she had also had to take care of her step-mother, but I understand why you didn't do that. I was a little confused because she says "girls" in her letter, but I thought it was just to Camille.
Camille's letter is my favorite (but I might be biased - I wanted to rewrite the story of Cochinango too). I like that you made her care more about his personality instead of his class. It made Camille feel like more of a real person to me. I hope there's going to be another princess thrown into the mix! I'd love another princess to take charge!
Hey Jessica! Your Storybook is super cute in its setup; I love the format of written letters, especially when you get to read them from multiple points of view! I think it fit well with what your stories entailed and the style you used for the letters themselves. I can clearly see the inspiration you got from the originals, so great job on conveying the original messages!
ReplyDeleteI love how you changed up the second story to match your character and the tone of your storybook. I'm a big fan of feminist-leaning literature, so I was really happy that you gave your character some added independence (in both stories) but even more so in the second one. I like that you gave her a choice and also had her actually LIKE the man she chose! It was super fun to read and very interesting to learn how the original went.
Hello again Jessica! I am so glad I found your storybook again. I love the two stories you have added. I think it's interesting how you have made these stories your own. The voice you have given to the characters not only establish their character traits for the reader, but also makes the story itself different. For example, I also read the story of Princess Hasse. While I was reminded of it, and by the end knew it was the same story, sometimes I wondered if you had based it on a different similar story, because it was so different, in a great way!
ReplyDeleteI hadn't read Camille's story before this, but you did a great job of retelling it so that I wasn't confused and could easily enjoy without having read the source material. I hope you post more stories that I can come back and read! Great job!